It’s an unfortunate fact that as you discover what fashion style you like, it’s common to also start worrying about whether other people like it as well. After all - clothes are one of the biggest things that leaves an impression on people, so we naturally want to show them our best self. But what happens when what people see as our ‘best self’ goes against what we actually want to be? What can we do about it?
The most important thing to remember is that fashion is something you should be doing for yourself. It can be fun to dress in ways that make you more popular or trendy, but constantly trying to dress for others can leave you lost on who you actually are. Your style and how you dress should ultimately be a way for you to express to others not just the type of person you are, but who you want to be.
If you find yourself feeling afraid to wear something even though you really want to, chances are that you may have one of these factors lingering somewhere in your mind that’s pressuring you to hold back or change who you are:
- Authoritative Pressure - pressure to comply with rules set by figures with authority over you like your family or teachers
- Peer Pressure - pressure to fit in with your friends in ways that are dangerous or clash with your personal values
- Media Pressure - pressure to fit in with what’s presented as “beautiful” or “popular” in the media
While there’s no one surefire way to just get rid of the sources of these pressures, what you can change is how you choose to process it. When it comes to matters of fashion, you have to keep in mind that beauty is subjective. What some like to wear, others won’t like, and vice versa. As long as you aren’t breaking any rules, there shouldn’t be any reason for people to argue over what you chose to wear for yourself.
Consider this:
To better understand how beauty is subjective; go on a mini-field trip and try researching about what’s been considered “beautiful” across different cultures and time periods. You’ll be in for a shock when you see how much the standard for beauty has changed over the world’s history.
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Sometimes, the person that’ll be your worst critic and biggest hater will be… yourself. If you’ve ever felt the little voice in your head constantly nagging at you, you’re dealing with negative self-talk, and it’s high time that you sit down and have a proper discussion with yourself.
Whenever you find yourself talking badly about yourself, like “I’m too ugly to wear this” or “My body will never look good enough,” take a moment to pause and ask yourself these questions:
- What’s making me feel frustrated at this moment that it’s making me think this?
- Where's the proof that this is true?
- Where does this claim come from, and why should I believe them?
- Would I say this to someone I care about?
- How can I turn this into something positive about myself?
It can be hard to catch yourself doing it right in the moment at first, but just keep trying, and you’ll find yourself feeling more confident and your inner critic a little more quiet.